why criticism feels so personal

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Our brains read criticism as a threat, our identity takes it personally, and old wounds can make small comments feel huge. This episode is about why feedback stings so much, and how to receive it without shrinking.

• Criticism triggers a threat response in our amygdala

• We tie performance to identity, so “this needs work” can sound like “you’re not enough”

• Past experiences and upbringing shape our sensitivity (harsh comparison, conditional praise, public call-outs)

• Negativity bias makes one harsh comment outweigh ten compliments

• Personality patterns (perfectionist, people-pleaser, highly sensitive, anxious) amplify reactions

• Common reactions: defensiveness, shame spirals, anger, withdrawal, over-apologising

• What helps: pause, ask for specifics, separate you from your work, and check the giver’s intent