the psychology of being perceived

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Being perceived can feel like standing under a spotlight. We often perform for others without even realising it, letting their imagined opinions shape who we become.

• Being perceived taps into our ancient fear of rejection and judgment
• We construct our self-image through the “looking glass” of how we think others see us

• "I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think, you think, I am.

• The “spotlight effect” makes us believe everyone notices us more than they actually do
• Social media amplifies the pressure to perform, making it harder to feel authentic
• We wear social armour — people-pleasing, overachieving, hiding parts of ourselves — to manage being seen
• Letting go starts with awareness, self-compassion, and remembering: being misunderstood doesn’t make you less whole